ADHD at Home: All Behavior is Communication

photo credit: Getty

A baby cries and you know she wants one of three things; to be fed, to be changed, to be comforted. Children with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder are no different. Whenever you see a behavior that baffles, infuriates, or irriates you, I want you to do something for me. Stop, watch, listen, rewind, and conclude.

Stop: Before you react, which is what we parents of kids with ADHD do oh-so-well, stop yourself. When you react without giving it much thought, you're only exacerbating the problem.

Watch: What just happened? Did your child throw something? Did she run from you? Did she scream or throw a tantrum?

Listen: What do you hear? Words? Growling? Yelling? If you heard words, what were they? Do you know what they meant?

Rewind: Now, with all that information at your fingertips, I want you to take what you know about the reaction you just saw and rewind the tape. What happened prior to the incident? What happened a half hour before? Keep rewinding until you see something you hadn't seen before. Often it's as simple as figuring out what happened earlier in the day.

Conclude: Did you see something you hadn't seen before? Every behavior is communication. Your child is trying to tell you something. But often our kids are speaking in a language that is so socially unacceptable, that we forget they're speaking at all. This can be so frustrating for both the child and for her parent. But when you step back and view your child's day with objectivity, often you can find what he's trying to tell you. And if you know what she's saying, you can then work on it together.

Have you ever had a time when you discovered something important about your child's behavior? What happened? What action did you take to resolve it?

Next time: A real-life example that puts these steps to use.