ADHD: School Meetings

photo credit: careerworks.biz

Parent-teacher conferences can make a grown Mama shake in her boots - especially a Mama with a kiddo with ADHD. Conferences for our kids always seem to take on a negative tone. Look at the photo above; Imagine yourself, walking in and sitting down at that table. Quick...how do you feel?

That bad, huh?

Well, I've got the solution. I've sat on both sides of that little table; the one where your only choice is to sit in a tiny chair with your...ample-ness hanging over both sides. The thing about those meetings is this; teachers are prepared. You know what that means? It means you have to be prepared too.

Your child's teacher(s)will have an agenda and a pile of papers to show you. Those papers might include a report card, assessments in different subjects, tests he has taken, samples of his daily work, his progress on IEP goals or 504 Plan, reports from specials like music, P.E., and library.

Educational staff might include; the classroom teacher, special education teacher, school psychologist, school counselor, P.E. teacher, music teacher, principal, or instructional assistant. Each person has your child's best interest in mind. Each one has an agenda; to let you know how your child is doing in school.

Conferences are infuriatingly short, some as short as 5 minutes, others as long as 10. It's just not enough time. And just sitting down with these professionals can be so intimidating that you end up saying nothing at all.

Here are a few tips that can help you regain some control;

1. Make a list of questions or comments and bring them with you.
2. Talk to the teacher ahead of time and let her know that you will need a few minutes to speak.
3. If you need more than a few minutes, ask if the conference time can be changed or even moved to an after school slot the following week.
4. Bring your won pile of papers; you may not need them all, but it's good to be prepared. Items might include doctor's reports and anecdotal notes you've taken at home.
5. Be respectful. If you disagree with something, give your based-on-fact opinion, but don't get into an argument.
6. Teachers are busy - but remember, conferences should be a conversation, not a lecture. So try to keep the dialog conversational. End by asking what you can do to help Johnny do even better at school.
7. Share stories of success, if you've seen good things in your child. Everyone wants to feel like what they're doing is making a difference.
8. If you're not satisfied that all your questions were answered or that you had ample time to share your concerns, ask for another meeting. It's perfectly within your rights as a parent to do so.

I can tell you from a teacher's perspective that parents who did these things at conferences had my utmost respect. I felt like they were part of the team of people who were working together in the best interest of their child, my student.

Have you ever done something like this at parent-teacher conferences? How did it turn out? Have you ever felt intimidated by the educational process? ~Karen