ADHD: My Son Does Not Need Fixing!

I recently read on WebMd that if a mother-to-be smoked during pregnancy, her child was twice as likely to have ADHD. http://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/ss/slideshow-adhd-in-children So, what is a nonsmoking mother to think of that statistic? I don't know. So, as usual, I'm writing about it. Writing is how I think, how I process things.

My son has struggled all his life. He has lived in a body that just wouldn't stay still, a mind that wouldn't focus, and a brain that had no filter, forcing him to act without weighing consequences, if even for a moment.

His struggles affected me as a mother. I was at times embarrassed by his behavior, saddened that he couldn't have it easier, and frustrated when all of my efforts seemed in vain. His struggles effected my life, my marriage, and my other children.

I could go on and on.

But when I read a statistic like the one above, my first thought isn't "shame on that parent" for smoking during pregnancy. In fact, that isn't even in my first ten in a list of reactions. What is? Well, even with all the struggles, I maintain that ADHD is more of a problem for society than it is for my son.

Most of the time, the attitude I carry with me is that there is nothing wrong with my son. I mean, who is to say that the little boy who sits in the front of the class, quietly complying with every one of his teacher's directions, is the normal one. In fact, that's a little abnormal, as far as I'm concerned. I fought long and hard to finally get to the bottom of what made my son struggle so. The diagnosis was a relief. But I can't say it helped all that much.

As a mother who loves her child fiercely, I can't think of him as a broken radio that just needs to be fixed. No. My son doesn't need fixing. What he needs is to be seen as a person with a list of personality traits, just like everyone else. What he needs is a dose of compassion and a pat on the back for everything that he is and everything he aspires to be. What he needs is what every child needs; no more, no less.

That's my thought for the day. ~Karen